Health

Reg · July 7, 2020, 4:20am

I dislike marijuana, Mark. I tried it after my surgery last year to help with the pain. It was awful.

So I’ve been having trouble sleeping. A week ago, I decided to try marijuana for my insomnia. My woman was into the idea so I found a guy who delivered and bought a tray of brownies since I can’t stand the idea of smoking. Nine brownies, extra strong, about $35 USD. I have no idea if that’s a good price or not and don’t care. I figured I’d shop prices if they worked and I became a regular consumer.

Anyway, after consulting with some pothead friends and family on WhatsApp, we each ate half a brownie. She got giggly and happy and was clearly high, then after about an hour she started getting paranoid, and then after another hour she got sick and threw up. She was totally stoned and messed up and just lay in bed waiting for the effect to subside. It was extremely unpleasant for her.

Me? Nothing. Nada. No effect. I went back to WhatsApp and my pothead friends said to try a tiny bit more (half of half a brownie). I did that. Then suddenly, after about 20 min, it hit me. I was totally stoned and messed up. Disoriented, the room was spinning, couldn’t walk, couldn’t even sit up straight, just lay there. After about an hour, I was a tiny bit better but still wrecked and then I also got sick. I spent about 30 min face down in the toilet throwing up food I thought had long since been digested and then went back to bed and hoped I would die soon.

The next day we were both nauseous but I was worse than she was. I didn’t throw up again but I felt like I was going to. After two days, she was fine but it took me four full days to feel human again. The (roughly) 8 remaining brownies went straight into the garbage.

I am happy marijuana is legal these days but that doesn’t mean it’s for me. I don’t plan to ever try it again. It was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life.