I decline to consult with you about my marriage, but I will answer your second question.
No, Gunda, however I choose to live does not mean I consider all women subordinate (you spelled it wrong), or any other loaded adjective. Women are obviously not subordinate in all cases. I referenced a couple I know where the woman makes all the decisions. She is totally dominant, not subordinate, in their relationship. To view all women as subordinate would be to deny the existence of millions of cases where women are in positions of authority over men. Let me type it in big letters to try to help you understand this better.
I do not view all women as subordinate to men.
I hope, but do not expect, that this will be clear to you. You really should try to find a man, Gunda. Life is way better when youâre not doing it alone.
You said about your own marriage, that you are the decision maker. Then donât be surprised if I ask if this means you view your wife as being subordinate, silly.
If a white racist says he chooses to have only white women, then he also knows of course that there are millions of cases of interracial couples. This still makes him a racist.
In consideration that you with no exception spoke negatively about feminism and other topics regarding women, I believe that if you had the chance to build or describe the âoptimalâ society, then women would be subordinate to men. You just donât have the backbone to be honest.
PS: Just to make it clear, I only speak of relationships (couples), not about professional relationships, where also women happen to have authority over men.
What total nonsense. If a hetero man âchooses to have onlyâ people of the opposite sex, does that make him a homophobe? If a man âchooses to have onlyâ thin people, does that make him a fatphobe? Obviously not. Nor is a man who prefers white women a racist. Nor is a man who prefers black women a racist. Nor is a man who prefers Asian women a racist.
We all have our preferences, and those preferences do not mean we hate those who do not share them.
If you are going to answer the question and state my opinions for me, why ask me? Just make up a bunch of scheiĂe, claim it to be my opinion, and type thousands of bunny boiling words about it, just as youâve done for the last 15 years or so. It would be much more efficient and would save me some time replying to your nonsense.
I donât see why. Subordination takes many forms. That said, even within your artificial limit of couples only, I know several where the wife totally dominates, earns more money, makes the big decisions, and most of these couples seem functional enough to me. It is not my chosen way of living but to each their own.
You really should try to find a man, Gunda. Maybe some German-language version of match.com or something like that might help. You would almost certainly be both happier and less bitter toward others.
Oh, itâs about winning. What if husband always wins?
Do you ever ask a man to go on a date with you, Gunda? If so, do you discuss the check and whomever has more knowledge of the menu wins? Or do you, as the host, pay?
To feel attracted by certain optical features like race, body form, eyes/hair colour etc. isnât excluding that someone also is open to start a relationship with someone not meeting these criterias. These preferences are therefore per se neither positive nor negative.
Subordination by definition is something negative. It is disrespectful and hateful just like a racist is, as such a person doesnât view the other person as an equal being (knowing how much you love to misinterprete me I better add, that I donât mean equal in a biological sense).
Because you either donât answer and if you do, you squirm around. You are free to correct me. But instead, you just whine and freak out. So then tell me how women in your ideal society would be like regarding men. Drama Queen.
I donât envy any of those relationships, in which one dominates the other. I also donât think such a relationship is healthy for the dominated person. I also acknowledge that especially a man needs to have a lot of self-esteem and strength to have a relationship with someone who earns more money which also usually means a higher status in society, though, which is the main reason why men prefer women with a lower status. Which still is no reason at all to view and treat them as subordinate.
Reggie, itâs you and not me who is bitter, as I donât even fantasize about dominating my partner. You even only want to live with a subordinate one. Get your perspectives finally straight. And grow some spine instead of being so squirmy about uttering your true opinions. Then you wouldnât have to use the only fitting cause true but âloadedâ adjective like ânot helpingâ instead of ânot minglingâ with a jumper (suicidal person on the bridge). With a spine you also finally could admit you are a homophobe and misogynist.
And no, I am not as needy as you are. Thank God I got passed the age of getting children, as this was pressuring me indeed and even willing to make compromises. Now this ballast is gone and I am free. And if the slightest idea comes up to give a dating site another try, I get saved pretty soon from entering another hell ride every time I meet any friend my age which are still in a partnership.
already hinted towards this in the usa-topic but looks like i still need to ask this question:
do you view immigrants and muslim people as your equal?
also: you are not passed the age of getting children, there is always adoption and iv (with or without partners)
" Erramatti Mangamma, who gave birth at the age of 73 through in-vitro fertilisation via caesarean section in the city of Hyderabad, India, currently holds the record for being the oldest living mother."
No it isnât. I just was a bit flippant. What I meant was, that they both discuss the pros and cons and then hopefully both are rational enough to find the best decision. If someones arguments always get ignored, then this wonât make them satisfied on longterm. Or they will give themselves up. Many do. And then they complain to their poor friends.
What do you mean with âdiscuss the checkâ? Regarding the menu, if we go in a fancy restaurant with foreign cuisine and I realize he knows more about the dishes or wines on the menu, then I gladly let me surprise by his suggestions. I would be stupid if not. I never let my date pay for me. Each one shall pay for themselves, as I work fulltime and I never dated anyone who doesnât work fulltime as well.
Yes I do. I even go further and answer a question you might also have in mind now. If not, then take it as a bonus info about my mind-set regarding immigrants and Muslims. I view both legal and illegal immigrants as an equal as long as they view me and my fellow Germans (with and without migrant background) as equals as well. Regardless which gender, religion, sexual orientation and race we have. If they have a problem with this, then I am for deporting them no matter if they have a legal or illegal status or if they already got the German citizenship (and hold minimum dual citizenship).
I also believe that for a proper integration a maximum number of immigrants need to be applied. It also turned out that especially Muslims have a tendency not to integrate as other cultures do. Therefore I would shut down mosques which teach against integration and against our values.
I also want the individual right for asylum to stop. I want the asylum law to be applied strictly for what the law meant it to be. Only for refugees of war and fear for their lives in their home country. There are diverse suggestions on the table how to achieve that only asylum seekers worth the name and with a chance to get accepted enter the EU or at least Germany without anyone of those refugees having to die in the Mediterranean Sea. None if it has been tried out yet. Now you can hate me. I donât mind.
Not in Germany. I am also too old for that. I should have tried it earlier but tried too long to find a partner. I gave this very advice to my young neighbour which soon hits her 30. birthday and only made very negative experiences. She is really a nice girl. Also good looking. She talked already with her mum about it and has her full support (her relationship with her father is not really a good one just like the relationship between her parents). She once told me she might go to Denmark for it.
One of my nieces doesnât even try to find a partner due to a near rape experience in her childhood. I suggested also to her already to consider iv right in time before she gets too old either.
If someone is ignored by their partner it stands to reason they will be ignored by their poor friends as well.
I mean, do you discuss who pays?
If you invited him to dinner, shouldnât you surprise him?
You invite a man on a date and then ask him to pay for his meal? When hosting a dinner party, do you also expect your guests to pay for the food you prepare in your kitchen?
Ok, then I have already answered. If you still have questions, just ask.
Regardless who asks for the first date, if itâs me or him, I always prefer to pay separated. First I think itâs fair as both share the risk equally and secondly, no one has to feel guilty if no further date is planned (and also the opposite way, no one feels âexploitedâ - I canât think of a better word right now than that -, for having had to pay all. And I never ever experienced this by the other date as negatively. This is actually pretty normal.
I am very happy you (and Nico) did not breed. You would both have been horrible parents. Youâre even a horrible aunt, recommending single motherhood to your niece. No wonder Germany is so lost. I should probably have had children, but I was too selfish in youth, and I am too old now.
I just was a bit flippant. What I meant was, that they both discuss the pros and cons and then hopefully both are rational enough to find the best decision. If someones arguments always get ignored, then this wonât make them satisfied on longterm. Or they will give themselves up. Many do. And then they complain to their poor friends.
I view both legal and illegal immigrants as an equal as long as they view me and my fellow Germans (with and without migrant background) as equals as well. Regardless which gender, religion, sexual orientation and race we have. If they have a problem with this, then I am for deporting them no matter if they have a legal or illegal status or if they already got the German citizenship (and hold minimum dual citizenship).