I know. Those who use that approach have something shameful to hide.
You really donāt know me at all, Nico. I remember saying that once to some Russian bodybuilder (I assumed heās Russian from his accent) honestly thinking āthis guy might attack and, if he does, I will loseā. I said it anyway. He yelled but did not attack.
Your (rather pathetic) attempts to paint me as a coward are falling as flat as your attempts to paint me as fat. At age 50, I sold my data center and emigrated to Colombia, generally regarded as one of the more dangerous countries in the world. While there, I visited every barrio they tell tourists never to visit, and I regularly walked el Hueco in MedellĆn where even locals fear to tread. Iāve sailed on the Pacific in a tiny sailboat and Iāve ridden a motorcycle across the southern USA with a white girl on the back. I am no coward, Nico.
Cue some pathetic, snide, derogatory response from the Dutch POS heckler who wonāt even show his face. I know itās coming. I know it will be stupid.
Youāve known me for a long time, Michele. I have not led a perfect life. Iāve done many bad things. I think you know I have nothing to hide.
lol
oh i totally agree i dont know you besides what i have seen on this forum, and yes that hasnt shown me much bravery but mainly an old egotistical man pounding his chest
it was an obvious joke, my silly dutch brother (i do think the best jokes always contain some truth)
except a lot of insecurity
What do you think it accomplishes?
It accomplishes the same thing as telling the delivery driver not to drop things in the mailroom, or telling the waitress that the meal was overcooked, or asking the guy yelling into his cell phone if he could please keep his voice down. In every interaction of every sort, you are providing feedback to the other person.
If you donāt tell the guy yelling into his cell phone that heās disturbing you, heāll have no incentive to change and will keep yelling into it. If you donāt convey to the smoker that his behaviour is making you sick (literally), heāll have no incentive to change and will keep emitting repulsive poisons.
Feedback is not always negative, either. If I see a girl who has obviously taken the time to dress well and look good, even if sheās not very pretty Iāll still look her right in the eyes and smile admiringly. At 60, Iām not trying to get her in bed. I just want her to know that I noticed and that I think she looks good.
yes i think it would if you used similar wording towards a smoker 
lol what if you also notice a bulge between the legs of that woman, would you still smile to compliment her?
Gross Dutch pervert.
lol thought so
Immediate accomplishments are simply, Reg. Going from fat to skinny doesnāt happen just because your fat mouth says, āthat must changeā.
You have no P. R. skills.
Iāll share with you a thing that happened years ago in Park Bench.
Someone sent me a message and I shared how lazy I am. They were so nice and told me to take baby steps. Go slow. They told me to skip through the house and then the mailbox and then down the roadā¦the point is, I listened to them. People who point out all that is wrong will never get it right. I have no clue who gave me that advice but I will never forget it and Iām grateful for their approach.
But it will never happen if they hear the lie, āyou are beautiful just the way you areā.
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But it will never happen if they hear the lie, āyou are beautiful just the way you are
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Is that what you think fat people want, need or expect? Are you really that out of touch? A fat person can lose weight and you could still find and endless amount of physical flaws. I seriously doubt youāre are following the correct line of thinking.
lol if you were really grateful you would remember their name
you are welcome anyways 
What is it you think I do to fat people, Michele? Do you think I walk up to them and say, āomg you are fatā? I do not. I simply decline to give them any positive reinforcement about their life choices. Unless they ask me my opinion, I say nothing.
If they do ask me my opinion, I tell the truth, usually very politely. If they ask me if they look fat in that dress, I might say, āThat isnāt the most flattering outfit for you.ā If they ask me if I think they should lose weight, I might say, āyes, your health would surely benefit if you dropped some weight.ā
The same is true for smokers. I hold my nose. I say nothing unless they say something to me, at which point I tell the the truth.
I decline to lie to either group, but if they donāt talk to me, I keep my mouth shut.
Thatās not true. Bbad was built on your opinion. With every post you have an opinion. You donāt do anything to fat people that I know of but you do openly share your opinion on looks. Iām not saying thatās a bad thing. Iām just saying you have no tact. You expect positive reinforcement in your own team people you work with but you canāt spare it for strangers.
That could stem from your ego growing with your wealthā¦ idk.
Thatās the way you answer your wife. Very polite, very, donāt want to be in the doghouse answer. Thatās fine. But when you look at a fat person in a magazine or video, thatās not what you say. You donāt say that to your wife or family or friends.
You should cover your face.
You should tell the truth but maybe you should join a P. R. class for approach.
Iām home now and have a few more thoughts.
I am impressed that you appreciate my honesty in this case. Many do not. I agree that your variation is nicer but it is not more accurate. Their filthy smoking habit does not stink at all. Habits are intangible and cannot stink. Their cigarettes stink, and they personally stink. My calling them ātotally disgustingā nicely encompasses the stench from their cigarettes and from their breath and from their clothes and from themselves. If I was going to improve it for accuracy, I might change it to, āYou are totally repulsive and disgusting,ā to emphasize that normal people donāt want to be near them.
One of us is insecure. One of us always has a recent photo on his profile, and honestly discloses his weight and other details regularly. One of us hides in the shadows and heckles others. Yes, one of us is very insecure.
BBAD was built on many people expressing their opinions.
Thank you for that. Iām glad you recognize that.
This is totally wrong. If people arenāt willing to look me in the face and tell me, āthatās totally wrong, hereās why,ā then I generally wonāt work with them. I hire very smart people these days (being in the research business) and I have no use for head patting. If itās wrong, tell me itās wrong and weāll go find whatās right. None of the people that work for me have any issue telling me that something was wrong or stupid or misguided, nor do I have any issue saying why I think theyāre wrong.
Again, totally wrong. Erika wants me to tell her when she looks good and when she doesnāt, and she doesnāt want me to waste a lot of words softening it. She takes that information as the constructive criticism it was intended as, and ensures she almost always looks good (although I admit Iām prejudiced). I actually offered her a blunt criticism the other day (I wonāt say about what) and she thanked me at least 10 times for telling her. She knows I love her and she doesnāt need me to take 100 words to say something that can be said with 5.
Obviously not. We all behave differently in person than when weāre assessing online content. Am I supposed to tell each Youtube video I watch, āI donāt mean to hurt your feelings, and I know you tried very hard, and there were many good points in your video, and I can see you put a lot of effort into this, but I really think there may have been better ways to present the material in question.ā? I donāt.
You canāt seriously believe that I should cover my face so as not to offend the vile, stinking smokers who are emitting poisons in the air. Or perhaps you can believe that. I donāt know. I donāt believe that.
How would you rephrase the message āYou are totally repulsive and disgustingā to be nicer in approach while still being totally truthful and communicating the same information?
True.
excellent approach!
you say it best, when you say nothing at all
oh yes i can be very insecure about a lot of things lol but i have no problem facing it and remain myself at all times instead of freaking out over insecurities, unlike one of us
no āweā do not lol
false, i think he has a lot of tact and can act/pretend like the best actors in hollywood out there (which isnt very good but still)
There you go. Making accusations. I appreciate your honestly. I just donāt appreciate your tact.
Yes, dahling, yours will be the mathematically correct variation.
Normal people find your approach unempathetic to them. Perhaps you could change your claim from empathy to stench or totally disgusting.