I have decided to make my talents available to the common masses. Are you troubled? Lonely? Puzzled in general? Then Ask Will -
Dear Will,
I am considering supporting trump in the election. Is there anything I should know?
love,
A dumbass
Dear Dumbass,
Yes! Happy to be of service. If you support trump for over 14 days you will notice lesions beginning to grow on your skin and you will catch a horrible VD. And you will deserve it. There is no known cure for this vicious form of VD save for a dick-ectomy or a hole plug depending on where it strikes you. The best advice I can give is for you to relocate to a foreign country and never return. I hope this helps,
My neighbor here in Oklahoma is a very religious woman who is on about jesus endlessly and is constantly trying to convert me. She is also a trump supporter and has some horrible form of VD. What is the best way to protect myself from her unwelcome influence and VD?
signed;
Fearful in the boonies
Dear Fearful,
I recommend an electric fence. Keep your distance from her as there is no cure for that form of VD. Trumparhea. Set bottles of whiskey along the fenceline as she is weak for the drink and is often lost in it before noon. Good luck.
What do suggest for a person that has Trump Derangement Syndrome so bad that they start fantasizing that they are giving coherent advice and talking to themselves?
Signed,
Concerned Where They’ll be After 4 More Years
It is apparent that you have VD and it has affected what was left of your brain. You needn’t worry about the future as trump will be gone soon. Good luck and get a checkup soon.