Don’t we all.
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Reg doesn’t!
most of the time of my life I wouldn’t even have been able to tell you at which point in time exactly to re-insert me
Damn right. My life is my life, complete with all the wrong turns, the stupid decisions, the times I did something wrong when I could’ve done something right, the times I said something moronic when I could’ve said something brilliant, the opportunities I threw away, the futile dead-ends I chased until I had nothing left, the thousands of times I could have bettered my life significantly but didn’t because of sheer laziness, the times I hurt people who didn’t deserve it, the times I could have helped someone else meaningfully with no real effort on my part but didn’t. To have missed out on those things would be to have missed out on that which makes us human.
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But one for instance could stand more spotless and without wrinkles today and say I am xyz and this is my tribes and we live godly lives for years now , having successfully separated from this world - and look at me now.
See, @MyBigMoon? This guy doesn’t. Reg, You have the airs of a prophet sometimes at the end of times, seriously. That is why I called him Jonah-Reg once. He might refuse to be a prophet, but … you know. He went to Ninive after all anyways and issued stuff that even made cows repent
Ok, let me try to explain. I will try to keep it short. This is at the root of “When I was 18, I had all the answers. Today, all I seem to know is how little I know.”
I have sought wisdom. I never found it. I have watched thousands of others seek wisdom. None of them ever find it. Some think they have found it in badly written fiction. I do not see what they see (or more likely they don’t see what they say they see, but either way, I find no satisfaction there).
Given this, I have decided that seeking wisdom is a waste of time. Just live. Do your best. Be the best man you can be. Do everything. See everything. Learn everything. Leave your life in Canada to go live in a tiny village in the high Andes for four years. Spend a couple of years walking the ghettos of Medellín. And keep dreaming. Maybe go renovate an old home on the sea in Spain and live there for a few years.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn. Of course you should keep learning. Learn Spanish at 55. Enroll in University long after your career is over. Learn life lessons, too. Realize that possessions are chains and actually walk that walk. Then realize that some chains are needed for a man to be worth a shit and walk that walk, too.
Most importantly, come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to find all the answers. Just be the best man you can be, and enjoy the life you’ve been given. Death will come soon enough and we’ll learn what’s behind that door then.
I still regret things in the past that I did or didn’t do that would have made my life better and made me a better person. Too late. Now I wait to die and amuse myself with little kits and projects which are difficult because I have lost fine motor skills. I look forward to death but am not free to give it to myself.
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I read that! 
Mhhmm, ehmm no. I am not ready to accept this. I am still looking for total, eternal truth and accept nothing short of. I still believe that with the help of god TOTAL REVELATION is within the possible
That is true. I guess you don’t believe in the notion then that what you read and did the - lets say last 20 years of your life - will resonate in all eternity? I believe this and that is why I am so desperately seeking for it.
I hope you find it. 
I doubt you will, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I know of no better way to spend a life.
Remember though: Don’t use your quest as an excuse not to better yourself. Lose some weight. Gain some discipline in your habits. Learn to live clean.
I don’t honestly know what to answer to this. You are my enemy - and I am supposed to love you, so I will do so. I will pray for motor skills like a combat aircraft for you tonight. And for spiritiual (non-socialist) visions strong as bull dog ejaculations, too - of course!
Good night folx!!
I’ll post on bbad whenever I do! So fingers crossed!
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I don’t consider you an enemy though we have often disagreed. I wish you well on your journey.
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i’m sorry
the sanctimony makes me want to puke
it calls to mind tinkingaboutit saying “in the end only kindness matters”
in the end nothing matters in the end of matters ending in the matter of the end
jeez
i would welcome teenage angst after all this “be best” bullshit
maybe write a teenage poem
Do that, then. I had not thought of seeking wisdom in vomit but each of us chooses their own path.
Maybe he reads his puke instead of tea leaves.
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Time to pull the plug.
It’s long overdue.
Your body is destroyed. And you really thought you were going to be the demise off all the people you kept tabs and files on. What were your true plans and intentions?
It all seemed like it would be a reality to you.
Reg, postpone any meet ups or get togethers. Just until Will’s health improves.
Maybe we can do skype or zoom. At least we can have a shared moment to remember one another.
Wouldn’t you like that Will? Sharing a moment now as if it is your last.